Sunday, 25 September 2016

When's The Right Time To Have A Baby?


From being a teenage girl, I've always had my life plans and goals mapped out. Whilst careers have changed, university didn't quite work out, one thing stayed a constant; I wanted a baby. I always had the age 26 in my head, and being just one year out when I had Ada, I didn't do too badly. Despite it being my life's main ambition, that didn't stop me being absolutely terrified. I'd had an inkling I could be pregnant for a while, but it took me a couple weeks to finally take the plunge and take a test. And then another one, just to be sure.

My immediate reaction was to cry. This was something I'd wanted for so long, every time I spotted a baby or played with my niece, Mia, the broodiness took over me. Kane and I had been together for over four years, this was something I'd been desperate to happen, but it didn't stop the immediate shock. Every little doubt came rushing into my head; was I really ready for a baby? I'm only 24 (at the age of getting pregnant), surely I should be focusing on my business? Am I really ready to stop being a selfish human, getting to go and do as I please. To stop using my disposable income on myself and instead start preparing for a baby and saving? Surely these where the years I should still be going out every weekend getting bladdered?!

Everyone has a different answer for when's the best age to have a baby. I always wanted to be a relatively young Mum, and yet now I've had a baby at the age of 25, that seems ridiculously young to me. There's so many options for girls these days, long gone are the housewife days and instead we can head straight into work, go to university, go travelling.. If we choose not to have a baby in our twenties, there's the delightful reminder from the media that into our thirties our biological clock is tick-tick-ticking away. Statistically we're told that fertility starts to decline as we hit thirty, although then perhaps we're more likely to have our finances in order, a stable job and perhaps even a home to call our own. But then are we still unsure, could we really take such a long break for a job where I'm needed? And what will happen after the baby is born.. Childcare is expensive, would I be able to leave my baby to go back to work? And if so, will I be deemed a heartless, career driven woman who's putting myself before my baby? 

It seems at any age, there will always be reasons, doubts, to not have a baby. I don't think anyone will ever feel truly ready to have a child, there will always be niggling little fears about how it'll turn your life upside down. And I'm afraid to say, it truly will. But it truly, truly, will be absolutely worth it. 

What do you think? Do you think there's an ideal age to have a baby?
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8 comments

  1. I think if the times right then it doesn't matter what age you are. Sometimes you can't always plan your life, things happen when they happen. I'm 38 and have never wanted to have children and I can't see that ever changing. I suppose we are all different and want different things.

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    1. You're absolutely right! Of course not all of us want kids at all, hopefully it didn't come across in the post like all women should be having babies!

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  2. Lovely post! It's such a personal thing, you just have to do what's right for you - I honestly believe that everything will work out in the end :)

    Jess xo | The Indigo Hours

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    1. Yep absolutely right, what works for one person won't work for another, and that's true right the way through raising the baby too!

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  3. There isn't a right time is there. I desperately wanted one late 20's and ended up having twins mid-30's. There's pros and cons for any age and I know so many who have had them at 18 right up to 45. But it's all about being the right time for each person. Lovely post xx

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    1. Thank you :) You're so right, it's down to the individual person and I don't think there will ever be a perfect time!

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  4. I don't think there's any ideal age to have a baby. Though I'd absolutely love to have one no, other factors mean it's just not the right time for me. Hopefully soon though! x

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