I wasn’t actually planning on posting today, but I’ve been thinking of writing a few thoughts on my blog for a while, and suddenly I got an urge to just put it out there before I lost my nerve and decided not to. I quite often consider posting things a little more personal on here, but I usually just chicken out and go back to writing about my favourite beauty things instead.
I wrote on my Twitter last week that I think of myself as a huge oxymoron in terms of my life on the internet. My business is online, I write a blog, and promote both of those through Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest, the list goes on. But behind all this lies a real dislike for all things related to social media and modern life, mainly because of the impression and environment I feel it creates for people who use it. I am 100% guilty of this myself, both the side of spending too long trying to create a pretty Instagram picture and also feeling guilty and bad about myself and my life by comparing it to others.
But I think it’s such an easy thing to fall into. On Facebook people talk to each other on walls arranging plans, or couples profess their love for each other for everyone to see rather than just saying it to each other. And for some reason that makes me feel bad, am I not as popular as them? Is my relationship not as strong because I’m not constantly putting it out there how much I love my boyfriend? Of course, these are utterly ridiculous feelings, but I know I’m not alone in this sometimes happening to me.
And it’s exactly the same with Instagram, where millions of us share our latest meal, outfit or day out. What we don’t see is the day’s we slob around our homes in pyjamas not leaving the sofa, or the chips and chocolate we’ve just tucked into. No, we see the latest purchases, clips from a holiday away, all the happy moments, none of the bad ones. Even Vloggers through Youtube are on the rise, and I see so many girls saying they feel as if they get to live vicariously through people who get to go to nice restaurants every weekend or holidays every few months, because they don’t have the money to do nice things like that. But overall how does it leave us feeling? Not very nice, really.
After seeing the reaction online to Robin Williams death and seeing just how many people come forward talking about their experiences with depression, it really does make me wonder how the current state of modern life is effecting us all mentally. I know there’s obviously a lot of people who suffer with mental illnesses, and there is no real reason for this, but personally I know my anxiety isn’t helped by life online, and sometimes feeling like I need to portray the most perfect version of myself effects me in real life. To the point where I think about what I’m going to say to even my most close of friends before I say it in case they don’t find it interesting, or funny. I’m not sure how figures compare of mental illness from around the time of the 1970s to now, and whilst it may have absolutely no relation in general to how modern life is progressing, I know certainly for myself it’s definitely a factor. There’s probably three people in my life who I feel 100% comfortable talking about anything to, but other than that most of the time I really have to push myself to go out with friends, and when I’m there I have to push myself again to really get involved in conversations and feel normal! I feel like I’m improving and getting a little bit back of the confident person I used to be, but half the time I do just stay in and sit behind my laptop, because it’s just easier.
I’m rambling on a little now, but my main point behind this is to remember that no-one is perfect. No-one. Even the bloggers with their tens of thousand of followers, and their life online which portrays something entirely different, they’ll get their bad days like me and you. Comparison really is a killer, and there’s the quote that you shouldn’t compare your day one to someone’s day 20. Whether you’re in a bad situation, going through a tough time, or are even feeling a bit rubbish about your blog’s progress, things will improve. It’s so easy to compare every little aspect of your life to other people’s, especially when so much of it is lived online as we do, but it’s such an awful, destroying thing to do, and really, you just need to stop. Put down your phone for a day, and go out and live life for you. Sometimes you can’t really experience life fully if it’s all through the lense of your phone’s camera.
Sorry if this was a little rambly!